Life, the last couple of weeks, has been stressful. I am at the tail-end of moving residences, which has been one expense after another, I’ve got two medical bills and reoccurring prescriptions hitting soon, and I know my car isn’t going to pass it’s safety inspection next month, it’s just a question of how much the repairs are going to cost. Some time soon, I need to replace at lease two pairs of shoes if I want to be able to walk without hobbling (thank you, heel spur. You are definitely a welcome addition to my medical issues) and as much as I love my new home, I’m lacking in a lot of things I need (here’s looking at you, cooking utensils.)
Honestly, guys, I was making a mental list of all the expenses I’m facing in the next two months as I was driving home from work, and I broke down crying. This has been a fairly common occurrence this last year; for as much as I have been totally blessed by so many people, it has been a long string of financial strain and career disappoints for the last year and a half. And that’s okay. My life was never promised to be easy, but though the waves crashed around me, my God kept me afloat. Every time I faced an obstacle I did not know how to surmount, He pulled me through. I know He will do the same this time, too.
I know He has a plan, and I trust that He will see me through this season. I don’t need reassurances- my past experiences and the Bible should be sufficient- yet God still saw fit to remind me that He has everything under control. In just this weekend alone, I have been showered with His providence in so many different little ways; from having friends randomly (and generously) treating me to dinner, to a sister who bought me my favourite coffee, to those friends and family who gave up sleeping in to help me move all my things early Saturday morning, to my grocery bill coming in a good $10 less than I thought it would, to a well-timed hug and conversation from a friend I hadn’t seen for a while, to friends who encouraged/helped me to learn how to do winged eyeliner. I was gifted a full spice rack (spices included) just minutes after unpacking what spiced I already had, and wondering when I was going to be able to afford a spice rack. (This was given to me by the mother of the family I am now subleasing from- they alone have been so incredibly kind and generous and welcoming to me since I met them over two years ago, and for their extended family to be just as kind has utterly blown me away.) Later, that same family invited me to dinner, and then sent home at least two meals worth of food with me. So as I sat there, looking at the boxes of food, and listening to them chatter around me, I very nearly started crying; not from heartache or worry, but (for the first time in a very, very long time) from happiness.
Despite this very long winded post, I do not have the words to express the depth of my gratitude for these people, or how utterly unworthy I am of them, but most of all, how blown away I am by a God who care so much about the little troubles I my life. I can rest in the knowledge that if He cares so much about the small things, I can trust that the large problems will also be taken care of. I may not be able to find a more financially secure job, and I probably won’t be getting a new car any time soon (the two solutions I can think of for my current issues), but I am not alone, I am not forgotten, and I will be okay.
And that, dear friends, if how leftover Thai food very nearly made me cry.