I’ve sat down (okay, mostly thought about sitting down) to write this several times this week. Every time, something came up; I was at work, I had errands to run, the computer wasn’t working (yet another skirmish in the ongoing battle betwixt myself and The Turtle), I couldn’t think of what to write. The list of excuses goes on, and honestly, that’s been my relationship with writing for the past five years. I’ve written a line here, jotted down an idea there, but I haven’t spent time actually practicing my writing for a very long time.
I had good reasons, of course; I went to college to get a degree in something I could enjoy and support myself with, and then once I graduated I needed to find a job, because apparently once you’ve received a secondary education, you are expected to ‘be responsible’ and ‘pay for your education’ and ‘have money for food and shelter.’
My chosen degree was graphic design, and I do actually love it quite a lot, but I found myself in a position of having to find a full time job to support myself as I tried to find a job in the graphic design industry, so that I could support myself as I wrote, and suddenly my time began being consumed with secondary interests out of necessity, and my main career-passion (writing) was set aside time and time again. It’s probably no wonder, then, that I’ve felt increasingly frustrated and purposeless over the last year.
It took me a year of deep thinking (that’s the nice thing about menial labor jobs: lots of time to think) and one good, capstone conversation with a fellow coworker to achieve the light bulb moment that maybe, just maybe, I should try to carve out some time every day to work on that which I love. Maybe, just maybe, I could actually finish revising that book I’ve been writing for fifteen years.
So here I am, writing.
I’m not expecting this blog to sky-rocket me to internet stardom (of course I’ve daydreamed about it; who in this culture with access to YouTube and a movie theater hasn’t entertained such fantasies, if we’re being honest with ourselves?) I’m not even expecting anyone besides two of my friends and my parents to even bother looking at the blog, let alone actually reading it. Think of it as an exercise in discipline.
My goal for this blog is, for now, rather vague. I’ve toyed with the idea of only posting fiction short stories, only posting my thoughts on things, doing some combination of the two, or just giving up and letting it sit for years, like the myriad of my other journals, diaries, and that Xanga page I got back when it was just starting to be uncool. (I’m not the most hip to the times when it comes to social media things, some times. I’m working on it. xD) For now, just posting anything consistently shall be counted as victory, so we’ll leave it at that for now.